it all started with taking a bath

There are times when u feel that u received a revelation, somewhat akin to what Muhammad had at the mountain of Hira, or Moses on the Mount Sinai. It feels like you had been in a trance for a long time and that now, you suddenly woke up to face the reality. you realize that you have a lot of catching up to do, and you start to panic, for catch up you must. And you think. Everything starts falling into the right perspective and u can see your messed up life being a thing of the past in the near future.

All this happened for the umpteenth time in my life. Like all the times before, i opened up my eyes and saw the mess that my room was. it sickened me. i felt as if some "grave robbers from outer space" (RIP Edward Wood) had plundered the graveyard that my room is ( at least it would give any graveyard in the world a tough competition in terms of gloominess). And yet again i felt that the best way to start my life afresh is to clean my room. But all those previous times, i set out to clean my room. By the end of it all, i am always too exhausted to study, and the desire that was burning inside me is all gone, not to return for a long time.

and every time i take a bath, i feel like i should take one everyday, for the water is never as cold as i thought it would be.....

The reason i wrote this is that i could feel some difference this time. that from being Saleem Sinai all this time, i graduated on to someone whose relevation would be vindicated as being true one day. I took a bath again today, and i intend to take one everyday. And i cleaned my room too.

I spent the last two weeks playing counter strike as much as i can. but i plan to play no more.I am not going to look at the big picture anymore. forget the magical figure of 7. forget first ct's. just think of 2nd cts as a one off exam. My first and last chance. i have to do something.
and even the studying part, i will take it one day or one session at a time.

On second thoughts, could "that" relevation be a delusion???? We all know what happened to Salim Sinai in The Midnight's Children when he declared the same to his family. Well, some people had it better.